Well, happy goddamn Valentine's Day to you, too. Nice to know SOMEONE cares about me.
If there's one thing I hate (besides rich people, rednecks, politics, cottage cheese, mayonnaise, National Treasure, the sun, mouthwash commercials, and stinging insects of any type), it's Valentine's Day. Besides the fact the the anniversary of my mother's death is the day after (rest in peace, Momma A, and how does it feel to be 16 years dead?), it also encourages the buying and selling of affections. I don't understand why the hell some creepy guy giving me expensive jewelry is supposed to make me love him forever and ever and marry him and have babies with him and live happily ever after with him even though one of our kids is actually his best friend's and I'm cheating on him with my yoga instructor.
Eh, who am I kidding? My yoga instructor is a woman, and I can't say honestly that I possess a fondness for children. Silly me.
End rant. I know, it was one of my shorter ones, but what can I say; I lack a long enough attention span to keep a rant going for more than a paragraph or so.
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Since I know you all care SO much about me, and I greatly enjoy talking about myself, I have decided to compose a post within a post, entitled "Things Heather Loves/Things Heather Hates".
Things Heather Loves/Things Heather Hates:
We'll start with the things Heather loves, because she wants it that way, dammit.
Books: Harry Potter (of course), Eragon, As I Lay Dying, Me Talk Pretty One Day/When You Are Engulfed In Flames/Dress Your Family In Corduroy And Denim/Anything else by David Sedaris that I've forgotten, Sphere/Prey/The Terminal Man/State Of Fear/Anything else by Michael Crichton that I've forgotten, The Silence Of The Lambs, Hannibal Rising (I didn't care for Hannibal, sue me), The Great Gatsby (I know, it's cliched), The Aeneid, dot dot dot et cetera et certera
Movies: Monty Python & the Holy Grail, The Matrix, Better Off Dead, Moulin Rouge!, Mulan (the ONLY Disney movie I will EVER admit to liking), Airplane!, Mallrats, The Wedding Singer, Wayne's World, Back To The Future
Television: It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, House, South Park, Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Colbert Report (it's the only reason I know ANYTHING about current events/politics), Tosh.0, SNL
VIDEO GAMES HELL YEAH: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Fallout: New Vegas, Dragon Age, Fable II & III, Mass Effect (I debated putting Two Worlds, just for the "it's so bad it's good" factor, but ultimately decided against it)
It's just occurred to me that I've basically already given a complete list of the things I hate, as those are what I complain about on a daily basis. It would therefore be repetitive and redundant to list them again.
Now, see, don't you feel better knowing all this pointless shit about me? No? Well then, why the hell are you still reading this? Idiot...
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