I'm Going To Try To Get Through This Whole Post Without Cursing, But Instead Using Ridiculous Substitutes For Curse Words. What Can I Say? I Grow Bored With My Day To Day Life.

I went to Harris Teeter today, as I always do when I get hungry and I don't feel like eating yet another of my dad's Totino's Party Pizzas. Since I have no money, however, I am limited to raiding the free sample dome things in the Deli section of the store and consuming them quickly, so as not to draw any more attention to myself than is necessary. I think the people there are onto me. I've been getting suspicious looks from Harry, the turkey guy. I'd better start being more careful. Harry's good friends with my grandparents.

Has anyone else noticed that approximately 86.75309% of the blogs on this site are written by mothers who think the rest of the world gives a flying fadoodle about their kids? News flash, mommykins: We don't! Fo' surrius, yo. If anyone else out there really, truly cares about the day to day lives of these peoples' little buckstabus, speak now, and I swear I will shut the fafsa up. Jesus Christ. People read blogs to GET AWAY from the things in their lives that suck bull bombardier, i.e. THEIR FIREFOXIN' KIDS!

I kind of like that, actually. I might start using "firefoxin'" in conversation. It's not like I could get much nerdier in my friends' eyes, anyway. Gondolagadzooks, I am pathetic...

Of course, the one blog that I found that WAS worth reading (http://www.twostarreviews.blogspot.com) I couldn't even follow. I spent twenty minutes looking for the dillardellin' "Follow" button, only to be forced to conclude that there was none. FML (Foxnews my life).

I need to stop now. My brain hurts from coming up with all those creative anti-swear words. It was somewhat amusing, though. I might start doing it more often.